When Love Creates Enemies: Understanding the Cost of Following Jesus

In our culture, we often think of love as something that brings harmony and peace. We've been influenced by songs about teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony, believing that's what love looks like. But when we examine Scripture, particularly in Mark chapter 3, we discover a very different picture of what it means to love like Jesus.

The Story of John Chrysostom: When Faithful Love Leads to Persecution

John Chrysostom, known as "Golden Mouth," was one of the greatest preachers of the 4th century. He served faithfully in Antioch before being forcibly brought to Constantinople to serve as bishop. The imperial family who had kidnapped him and forced his ordination soon regretted their decision.

Chrysostom was scandalized by the worldliness in the church. He reduced household expenses, ended extravagant banquets, and built a clinic for the poor. He insisted clergy be above suspicion and preached against the extravagances of the rich. While common people loved his preaching, the elite were furious.

Eventually, his continued outspokenness made it easier for authorities to trump up reasons to exile him. He was sent to walk through the mountains of Armenia in winter, where he died. He loved his people, and they killed him for it. Sound familiar?

What Does Jesus Say About Persecution?

Jesus was clear that faithful Christians will face persecution. This isn't something that might happen - it's a promise. As Charles Finney put it, "The inherent antagonism existing between the friends and enemies of God renders this forever certain."

If we're not finding opposition, one of two things is happening: either we're only hanging out with other Christians and not reaching out, or we're not living holy lives.

The Beatitudes Promise Persecution

We love the Beatitudes, but we often skip over the uncomfortable ending: "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Jesus makes it even clearer: "Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account."

Jesus Came to Bring Division, Not Peace

Jesus himself said, "Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division." He warned that following him would divide families and create conflict even in our closest relationships.

Jesus Provoked Confrontation Out of Love

In Mark 3:1-6, we see Jesus healing a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath. The Pharisees were watching, looking for a reason to accuse him. Jesus could have waited until after the Sabbath - just a few hours - but he didn't.

Instead, he brought the man to the center of the room and challenged the Pharisees publicly: "Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the Sabbath? To save life or to kill?"

Why Did Jesus Provoke Them?

Jesus wasn't being a troublemaker - he was being a lover. He judged that the clearest way to tell the Pharisees they had strayed from God's ways was to confront them publicly. It was love mixed with courage, even though Jesus knew it would bring him trouble.

The result? The Pharisees conspired with their political enemies, the Herodians, to destroy Jesus. They hated Jesus so much they were willing to work with people they considered traitors.

The Pattern Throughout Scripture

This relationship between love and persecution is woven throughout the New Testament. Paul's ministry was "a litany of harassment and conflict with enemies." In nearly every city where Paul preached, he was eventually driven out because he told people their idols were false and their religion incomplete.

Speaking Truth in Love Often Incites Anger

We think speaking the truth in love should diffuse anger, but that's not always true. Most of us have experienced writing a calm, reasoned response to someone about an important issue, only to receive an angry, defensive reply in return.

Truthful confrontation is one sure way to create enemies, just like acting with compassion can be.

Modern Examples of Love Creating Enemies

A college student named Jonathan Taylor volunteered at an AIDS hospice in the late 1980s, visiting a man named Lance Loud regularly. He listened, empathized, and showed kindness - even smuggling in kittens because Lance loved cats. He almost lost his scholarship because Christians thought he shouldn't be associating with "that kind of person."

One letter said, "A good Christian should not be nice to a defiant homosexual." They wanted him to preach at the man and walk away, not show genuine love and compassion.

The Risk of Fraternizing with "Enemies"

When we associate with perceived enemies of faith or morality, we risk creating other enemies, usually within the household of faith. Jesus faced this same criticism when he ate with tax collectors and sinners.

There's a risk in loving the theologically or morally wayward. If we do it out of mere sympathy, we might compromise our values. But if we do it out of true love, it includes both compassion and confrontation, empathy and truth-telling, kindness and sternness.

The Balance of Truth and Love

The point isn't to create enemies, but to be faithful to Christ in word and deed. Sometimes our speech or acts of love are merely attempts to proclaim our own self-righteousness. If we're proud in our truth and haughty in our love, we deserve to have enemies.

But if we're genuinely trying to address important issues and present truth in a way that might persuade, if we refuse to duck our responsibility to speak and act in love, we should brace ourselves for opposition.

When to Speak Up

There's a difference between preferences and principles. If someone wears jeans when you think they should wear khakis, who cares? But if they're promoting false doctrine or denying the Jesus of the Bible, love requires us to speak up.

We can't lead someone to Jesus without talking to them about what Jesus has done in our lives and what Scripture says. We keep doing this until they either reject us utterly or they listen.

Life Application

The most loving man who ever walked the earth was Jesus, and they killed him for his love. If we're his disciples, we should expect to find at least a little trouble for loving like him.

This week, examine your relationships and conversations. Are you avoiding telling people important truths because you don't want to face opposition? Are you compromising your witness to maintain comfort and avoid conflict?

Consider these questions: Where in your life are you avoiding necessary conversations because you fear the consequences? How can you speak truth in love to someone who needs to hear it? What false teachings or harmful behaviors are you overlooking in the name of "keeping the peace"?

Remember, if we're not occasionally making people uncomfortable with the truth of the gospel, we may not be loving them the way Jesus loved. True love sometimes requires courage to confront, even when it costs us relationships or comfort.